Friday, May 27, 2016

18 months

It has been 18 months to the day since Hud was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes. I am pretty sure an 18 month diaversary isn't a thing, but I am also pretty sure that when you are handed that diagnosis and a newborn all within 3 weeks, you celebrate the milestones.
I remember so clearly every emotion I felt that night and the weeks afterward. I remember people (especially the doctors) telling me within a few months, it would be our new normal and diabetes would be background noise. I also remember thinking they were completely insane and that would never happen. Fortunately, they were right and I was wrong. I am thankful for God's hand in every moment of that hospital visit - from our first nurse who had Type One himself and was so patient in explaining to this super pregnant, super hormonal, super emotional mom why I would want an insulin pump for him one day (he was right) to our pediatric endocrinologist who has a T1 brother herself and patiently explained to me in the hallway that no, Hudson was not going to die and no, I didn't do anything to cause this and I couldn't have prevented it.
I remember coming home that first night and being more scared than I was leaving the hospital with a newborn. I just knew we were going to screw up and do something awful to Hud. I am grateful I now know that everything with Type One can be fixed and it is okay.
I remember struggling with how I was going to send him to do the things he had always done and knowing I wanted him to keep doing those things and not feel different or held back from anything. I am so grateful that we took adopted that attitude from the get-go and he hasn't been held back. I am pretty sure the scariest thing I have ever done was send my newly diagnosed son to Camp Thurman for a week. But, I am so glad I did. He did awesome and it was an excellent lesson to me that we could do this.
I am so proud that he knows how to take care of himself. He knows how to dose himself for a snack or meal if he is away from me and how to fix it if he goes low. That's a lot of an 8 year old, but he does it. He goes on play dates, birthday parties, camp, to school and I don't worry much more than I did before diagnosis.
I am grateful that T1 really has become background noise for us for the most part. It is not something I ever expected to happen or something I would want to happen to anyone I love, but I also know there are a lot worse things in the world. I will take it over any number of those things. It has opened the door to meet dozens of wonderful people I never would have met if it weren't for this common bond, and I am so grateful for those friendships. I am grateful to friends that have Type One themselves that reached out to me immediately after the diagnosis and the months that followed to remind me it really was going to be okay. T1 can be hard at times, I don't want to sugarcoat it. I like to say, if I can be a full-time pancreas you can {fill in the blank}. But, I would like to think that we are doing a pretty good job overall. Hud is a shining example of thriving after diagnosis. I am so very proud of him.

No comments: