Sunday, January 15, 2017

Two years

Today marks two years since Hudson was diagnosed. Honestly, I didn't want to acknowledge it. For the most part, diabetes lives in the background of our lives these days and that's where I wanted to leave it. But, irony of all ironies, Hudson was diagnosed on what happens to be WORLD DIABETES DAY, so it isn't something I will really ever have the option to ignore. When he was diagnosed, I vowed to myself to advocate and educate and well, today is kind of the biggest day for that AND  it is his diaversary. So, there's that.

But, as I was thinking about what I wanted to say I realized something, as much as diabetes is "background noise", there is a part of me that is still resentful of certain aspects. But, rather than focus on that I want to focus on something that I think I neglected to do two years ago.

His diagnosis was a whirlwind. In my hazy memory, it was a gloomy day (It is quite possible it was a brilliant day, but my memory will always have it as gloomy). As we stood in the parking lot and he threw up right there, I recall texting my friend Mika​ and lamenting he probably had a stomach bug and here I was almost 9 months pregnant. Deep down, I knew what it was, but I was praying it was just a stomach bug. Sweet Mika was there for me, even after I went dark on text, in the days, months and years to come.

Jessica Jordan Goodyear​ and Holly Hill Steffensrud​ showed up minutes after we arrived at the ER. They stayed with us through admittance and held my hand as I cried buckets and buckets of tears. I am not sure I ever said thank you for that.

Many friends showed up to love on Hudson and us. I am so appreciative of each and every one of them. Alison VanDyke Wimberly​ and Meredith Russo​ were two of those people. They will never know the calming effect they had on me that day and in the days to come. Meredith Russo had been diagnosed in the same hospital some years before. I had struggled with whether to send Hudson to kinder at First Faith or to public school that year before. I know that God definitely had a hand in putting the Wimberlys in my life and knew I would need them so so much.

Lizabeth Inboden Tanner​ came that Saturday and didn't leave my side. She endured my parking garage breakdown (and I know how you feel about that!) with grace and love.

Kara Mann​ is a childhood friend, who I now share the T1 mom bond with. She and her family came to see us that day. I don't know if it hit home to Hudson as much as it did for me to see Ethan, but it was beyond helpful for me. I am grateful.

There are so many others. Friends who showed up with meals in the weeks to come. I can never say thank you enough.

Thank you for taking this journey with us. Thank you for continuing to love us and love Hud. Thank you for understanding that Hudson is the same wonderful kid he was before, just with a lazy pancreas. Thank you for asking questions, learning and advocating with us.

I am so proud of him. I know I say that all the time, but I am. He handles his T1 with grace. He handles the responsibility of it and I know he is fine when he isn't with us (and thankfully he is only a call away on his "diabetes" phone).

I will never stop praying for a cure. I will never stop educating others. But, I am happy that diabetes is not the focus of our lives. Our lives are so much more than diabetes and Hudson is so much more than diabetes.

I know this is already a novel, but I thought of one more thing. You are capable of so much more than you can ever imagine. If you had told me 2 years and 1 day ago that I would practically have a medical degree (at least in T1 knowledge) I would have laughed in your face and said not possible. But, it was possible. People say all the time, I don't know how you do it. And my answer is the same, you would do the same. And you would. And you could.
Thanks for being there for us.

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